call it a kiss, but I want to dip my fingers into a dark wine and paint your lips red and let it drip down your neck. I want to cup your wet chin and raise the goblet of your fine wine mouth to mine. I want to drink from you until we taste the same~ Peregrine
“I think villains in general provide better, more epic romances because they’re allowed to go to extremes. they’re allowed to put their love over the greater good. they’re allowed to be selfish. the best a hero can offer you is number two, because their duty comes first. villains, though. villains will burn down the world for a last kiss goodbye.”
Virgin Territory is a 2007 romantic comedy that takes place in medieval Italy during the plague. it follows the love story of Lorenzo (Hayden Christensen) and Pampinea (Mischa Barton), who live in the same village, she being the daughter of a wealthy merchant and he being a bit of a rogue.
Lorenzo fancies the fair Pampinea but feels that she is out of his reach, while she secretly admires him but is engaged to a foreign Count, whom she has never met. her father unexpectedly dies and Gerbino (Tim Roth), the local scoundrel, swoops in and tries to get control of her money by claiming that her father was in debt to him. Pampinea flees to a rural convent to hide from Gerbino and his nefarious advances. Meanwhile, Lorenzo has also run afoul of Gerbino and while on the run, happens upon a man at the side of the road who is carting a dead body. he learns that the body is that of the former gardener of the convent, who pretended to be deaf and mute, and in turn enjoyed his fair share of sexual exploits with the residents of the convent, under the assumption that he couldn’t divulge their scandalous actions. this sounds like a sweet deal to the devilishly good looking Lorenzo, so he hides from Gerbino in the convent while playing the same role as the deceitful former gardener.
Pampinea becomes aware that her secret crush is living in the convent with her and is less than thrilled with his behavior. she keeps her face hidden so that he doesn’t recognize her, as she witnesses just how often her beloved is sought out by the young nuns, and even the Mother Superior herself. Lorenzo is aware of the nun who always stays hidden behind her veil and doesn’t vie for his attention like the others, and is curious about her but continues with his exploits, until she comes to visit him in his quarters. she blindfolds him so that he can’t see who she is, and then she kisses him, leaving before he can recover his senses and remove the blindfold.
Lorenzo is greatly affected by the kiss, as is Pampinea which is why she can no longer watch him gallivant with the other women and so she reveals his true identity, getting him kicked out of the convent. they both end up back in the village again and over dinner with Pampinea in her father’s house, Lorenzo confesses his love for the unknown nun that he kissed at the convent. Pampinea is secretly pleased that the kiss affected him as much as it did her.
Gerbino shows up again and imprisons Lorenzo, forcing Pampinea into marriage with Gerbino in order to save Lorenzo. she agrees and Lorenzo leaves town, where he then meets the foreign Count (Matthew Rhys) who has come to marry Pampinea, unaware that the scoundrel Gerbino is forcing his intended to marry him instead. Lorenzo and the Count work together to defeat Gerbino with some swashbuckling sword play
and thus the original wedding is back on. only there’s been a bit of a mix up, with the Count mistaking Pampinea’s friend, whom he previously had a tryst with in the woods, for the woman he was engaged to. upon this discovery, Pampinea stops the wedding and runs after Lorenzo before he is able to leave, imploring him to agree to a kiss. he reluctantly accepts, holding steadfast to the notion that he is in love with the mystery nun. upon kissing Pampinea he realizes, with shock and awe, that she is the bearer of the unforgettable kiss.
The comedy in this film wandered into bawdy territory often, leaving me feeling like I should be rolling my eyes at the suggestive humor, but I found myself laughing more often than not. I greatly enjoyed the sword fighting (I happily spotted a few of Hayden’s Jedi moves in the choreography) and the insulting banter between Lorenzo and Gerbino.
I also found the narrating character of Tindaro (Craig Parkinson) amusing in his pretense as a priest. the plot included other characters who filled up a good portion of screen time but the most straightforward storyline was that of Lorenzo and Pampinea.
[companion post: Twenty-Six]
1.) Kinda Complicated by Scott Helman
I first heard this song in the Hayden Christensen/Emma Roberts movie Little Italy and instantly fell in love with it. the more I listened to it, the more the lyrics reminded me of myself
There’s a dictionary page dedicated to us
It says some days we’re gonna shine,
and some days we’ll rust
But they left out the meaning, didn’t give it a name
‘Cause they couldn’t find a word for our kind of insane
I know that’s probably a bit strange to say but I do talk to myself in an encouraging and comforting way. it helps calm me down when I’m in scary or stressful situations. I also laugh and joke with myself a lot too; some of my most enjoyable times are times I spend with myself!
something I see so many people struggling with in this time of quarantine, is that they can’t stand being alone with themselves. I don’t have that problem.
I know we’re pretty complex, it ain’t always a breeze
But, girl, I only got you, and you only got me
2.) Memories by Maroon 5
this one can be sad but it’s a bittersweet kind of sadness. when someone is no longer with you, because they’ve passed away or something that’s not resolvable has come between you, it’s nice to remember the positive things you shared with them, instead of getting stuck on all the negatives. and appreciate the people who are still with you and continue to be a part of your life in the here and now, even if it’s not always smooth sailing.
3.) Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes
this is a song I find pretty to the ear but it’s also a bittersweet one as well, because it reminds me of when my husband and I were dating and in a long distance relationship. it was difficult, not only for when we were apart but when we were together too; I’d miss him like crazy and feel so happy when I was able to spend time with him, but I always had that nagging reminder that the time would be short. I would have to detach myself after he left, so that I could just get on with things. unfortunately it became hard to turn on and off and so sometimes I’d be detached when I was actually with him.
right now it’s pretty crazy
and I don’t know how to stop
or slow it down
4.) My Boy by Billie Eilish
Billie Eilish is fun and honest and she has many different styles/sounds to her music, which I find refreshing. I like the visual this song conjures up in my mind, of a boy whose whiny but tries to come off as tough. I’ve known sooo many of that type in my life. I say that with affection, but I still find it funny as hell when she says “alright dude, go trip over a knife”
5.) Loose You To Love Me by Selena Gomez
this song concerns Selena’s former love Justin Beiber, which makes the lyrics extra sad, knowing that it’s not just about the demise of a relationship but that they went through something so heavy at such a young age. I really like that she found herself in the end though, that she learned to love herself enough to put herself first.
6.) Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder
it is physically impossible for me to hear this song and not move my body in some way, it just can’t be done! it’s so jazzy and fun and it instantly recharges me anytime that I hear it.
7.) All My Life by Wild
another one off of the Little Italy soundtrack. the romance and the promise in this one just makes me feel good, it makes me feel happy. knowing that you can depend on someone, that they’ll always be there, even on the dark days, is one of the greatest feelings. I’ve been lucky enough to have that with my husband and I’m grateful for it everyday.
8.) Your Love Is My Love by Whitney Houston
this one has a tendency to get stuck in my head and it will stay there for days. it was one of the songs used this year in my daughter’s show choir competitions. when you hear the same songs performed every Saturday for two months straight, you can’t help but develop a love/hate relationship with them. I find it fun to annoy my daughter by just randomly saying ‘clap your hands now, it’s alright’ so that the song instantly gets stuck in her head too.
9.) Party Favor by Billie Eilish
this one has such a sweet innocent sound to it but the lyrics are actually about a break up, that she delivered by phone on his birthday. I find that humorous in a twisted kind of way. but I can never decide weather I should feel bad for the boy or relieved for her.
Books don’t make sense if you read them backwards
You’ll single out the wrong words
Like you mishear all my songs
Star Wars: Episode 2- Attack of the Clones is a 2002 sci-fi film that helps tell the origin story of Anakin Skywalker, who will become the villain Darth Vader in the original Star Wars trilogy. it’s the second film in the prequel trilogy, taking place 10 years after Star Wars: Episode 1- The Phantom Menace, in which Anakin was discovered to have a high concentration of the Force within him by Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn and so was trained in the ways of the Jedi by his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Episode 2 revolves around a security mission Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin (Hayden Christensen) take part in as body guards to former queen and current senator Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman). Anakin develops romantic feelings for the slightly older senator, which is forbidden by the Jedi Order. when Anakin and the senator go into hiding on her home planet of Naboo, the inexperienced Anakin quickly falls for his former childhood crush and although she tries to dissuade his feelings, she soon reluctantly grows to return them.
This telling of the love story between Anakin and Padme has been criticized by critics and fans alike, the couple often accused of having little chemistry and bad acting performances. this was supposed to be the origin story of one of fiction’s most iconic villains and so it was unexpected to have him appear as an awkward lovesick young man who is still trying to fit into his own skin, let alone the strict mandates of the monk-like Jedi Order. he wavers between obedient “yes, master”s and rebellious outbursts that are chastened by both his master and his love interest herself, chipping away at his pride. Padme knows the feelings he’s been exhibiting towards her are forbidden by his Jedi ways and also by the societal standards that go along with her position in the government, but when secluded on the remote and idyllic estate of her childhood, she is no longer able to deny her own feelings towards the young emotional warrior.
Amidst the serenity of the lush green planet of Naboo, Anakin suffers from disturbing nightmares involving the torture of the mother he left behind on the barren planet of Tatooine. he believes these dreams are not merely nightmares to torture his mind, but visions of real life events. so Anakin, along with Padme, travels to Tatooine to question his former slave owner, which leads them to the home of his mother’s husband. he and Anakin’s mother were ambushed by Tuskan Raiders and she was taken, her husband too injured to track her down. Anakin finds the desert camp and is able to hold his mother in his arms before she dies. this causes a blind hot rage in Anakin as he retaliates by slaughtering every last living thing residing in the camp. he later confesses his actions to Padme, foreshadowing his inability to control his feelings, which will eventually lead him to the Dark Side of the Force.
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan Kenobi has been chasing down the bounty hunter that was responsible for the assassination attempt on the senator, which leads to trouble with a rogue Jedi Knight. Obi-Wan was able to send a transmission to the Jedi Council via Anakin. seeing that his master is in need of help, the apprentice rushes off with Padme to rescue Obi-Wan, leading to their capture as well. the former Jedi-turned-Sith Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) uses the three troublemakers as entertainment, placing them in a gladiator fight against deadly creatures in front of a packed stadium full of blood thirsty spectators.
After surviving the death match, the three heroes are rescued (for real this time) by several Jedi and thrust into a large battle, helped by the clone army that Obi-Wan’s side mission unexpectedly attained. there are political points and subplots that led to these events but the heart of this film is the love story, culminating in the secret wedding of Anakin (now sporting a mechanical hand and forearm as a result of a light saber battle with Count Dooku) and Padme back on the planet of Naboo.
That summary is woefully lacking but it’s hard to explain the storyline of one movie when it intersects with five others! in my experience, Star Wars fans either love the prequels or hate them. the latter say that the dialogue is cheesy and the acting is stilted. I won’t entirely disagree with that assessment but what I find fascinating about this movie is the look inside of the future Darth Vadar that it affords, cluing us in to what drove him to become what he did. this movie depicts the struggles of a powerful young man who was failed by the wise adults that were supposed to be guiding him. all of those awkward moments of Anakin flirting with Padme shows that he really is just a hormone driven young man who is being forced to pretend that his testosterone doesn’t exist. he’s not supposed to give in to sexual attraction or the bonds of friendship that can sometimes lead to romantic attachment. he’s not supposed to acknowledge his natural feelings of anger, fear, jealousy, and resentment but to be controlled, stoic, wise, and a fierce fighter for the benefit of mankind. you can see all of those things play out on Anakin’s face and in his body language.
When ranking all nine movies in the saga, this second installment of the prequels is always at the top of my list. not only for the character aspects but also for the action sequences as well. there are car chases and sword fights and nail biting moments of wondering how they’re going to get out of very tricky situations. I’ve always liked the prequel movies, and gotten many eye rolls from other fans for saying so. I’m a romantic at heart and so I appreciate the more in depth look at the relationship between Anakin and Padme, that we didn’t get with Han and Leia in the original trilogy. but ‘romance’ doesn’t just mean longing looks and passionate kisses, it’s also Padme referring to Anakin as ‘Ani’ and the memory of the young boy podracing on Tatooine that nickname invokes, and seeing that same boy in the idealistic apprentice Anakin, now as a young man who is fighting against the system and wrestling with his heart, and it will lead to the more seasoned but still conflicted Jedi Anakin risking it all (and losing) in a desperate attempt to save the woman he loves.
You’re asking me to be rational. That is something that I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could just wish away my feelings, but I can’t.
[companion post: Twenty-One]
Getting Caught Up In The Mechanism 