I Survived ‘Apostle’ (and liked it)

In my previous post about Dan’s horror movie Apostle, which became available to view on Netflix Friday, I talked about my fears that it would be too scary and gore filled for me to enjoy. I was wrong. I did enjoy it. it wasn’t really as scary as I convinced myself it would be, and the gore factor was limited to small segments that I not only got through, but sometimes actually liked.

congrats for not dying of fright!

The majority of the reviews/reactions said that the story was a slow build but then the third act went crazy wild and climaxed in a twist ending. they also said it was full of gore and violence and it was super scary… it seems the internet and I have different definitions of what ‘gore’ ‘scary’ and even ‘river of blood’ mean. FYI: a sewage trench does not a river of blood make. don’t get me wrong, I liked the movie, but I saw that ending coming from the first time Thomas pricked his thumb outside his rooming house door. I didn’t think the third act came out of nowhere and hit you in the face either, I thought it flowed well. it’s true that a significant amount of time passed before the blood and gore made an appearance but the storyline needed that time to build the suspense. I want a story first and foremost, the ‘eew!’ moments, as fun as they sometimes can be, are secondary.

me, fighting my way to the story

Speaking of eew! moments, I felt there were 3 big ones. the first involved the birth of a malnourished lamb and the callous way it was disposed of. the second centered around a ‘purification’ ritual that drilled through someone’s skull. most of the scene was suggestive violence (sound effects) until they showed a quick shot of the aftermath, which I’ll admit I turned my head away from. the third instance was actually a scene that I enjoyed, due to the suspense. it was hinted at in the trailer, when Dan’s character is being pulled along a table towards a meat grinder. fishing hooks are involved and some meat does get ground. (there is also bloodletting, knife fights, and a violent spear incident, but those type of things don’t bother me)

Hell hath no fury like the father of a teenage daughter

I think tone matters a lot when it comes to thrillers and horror movies. the background music in this movie was classic horror fare, and the build up of the storyline felt very classic to me as well. when I first saw the trailer, I got a Children of the Corn vibe from it, which made me excited to see it. then I took everyone’s descriptions of it to heart and let them kill that excitement for me. I wouldn’t say the movie isn’t scary, because there were times my whole body was clenched in fear: that ‘river of blood’ scene that involved very little head room (I’m claustrophobic) and a supernatural being chasing Thomas through the water. THAT was scary. also, the secret shack where the meat grinder scene took place. that whole place was creepy! the scariest thing about the movie for me didn’t involve anything supernatural, but rather the cult member who went off the deep end in his lust for power. HE was scary. I did like Michael Sheen’s cult leader though, even if he was on the bad side.

this guy had one job and one job only, which he did methodically and robotically. He was scary too.

So how was Dan in this movie? there is a scene where Thomas blackmails a teen boy into helping him in the quest to find his sister. Dan is threatening in that scene and I really liked it. his character is grumpy and suspicious through most of the movie, so all those glowers are enjoyable too. when he’s scared, his eyes get really wide and when he’s blissed, his smile is so serene it borders on comical. there was a scene where he experienced a mind meld, if you will, and he’s all blissed out, draping himself across the person’s lap. I don’t know if that was meant to be funny, but I got a good chuckle out of it. I liked the ending of the movie too. I’m glad it ended that way.


so, yeah. I survived Apostle and liked it. I’ll even go so far as to say, I’ll watch it again.

in the daytime.
[gifs by damstevens]


Dan Stevens is set to star in a gory horror film about a religious cult set in the year 1905, Wales. I was really looking forward to this film, until I found out about the gory part. now, I’m nervous.

me, awaiting the release of Apostle on Netflix, October 12

I enjoy a good thriller. I like an unbalanced protagonist as well. I even like violence, of a certain kind (hand to hand combat, gun shoot outs). I do not like gore. I try- when my son used to watch The Walking Dead, I would browse the internet with my back to the television so that I could listen to the story but not have to watch it. the monsters of humanity can be a hard limit for me too; torture, especially if children or animals are involved, is a no go. the more reviews I read of this film, the more apprehensive I feel. the story, as I understand it, revolves around an ex-preacher who is battling drug addiction while infiltrating a cult to rescue his sister, who has been abducted and is being held for ransom. the cult is located on a remote island and worships a supernatural being that may or may not be real. if this were a book, I’d jump on that in a hot minute! but it’s not a book, it’s a visual blood bath of torture.

how did those bodies get up in those trees like that? i’m not sure i want to know.

Some may watch something like this, cringe, and then walk away with the feeling that it’s simply not to their liking. I can’t just walk away from these things. case in point: Richard Armitage’s part in the third season of HannibalI was leery leading up to that performance but I bravely moved forward because I knew the portrayal of a character like that would be something worth seeing if it was in the hands of Richard Armitage. it was, and I am glad that I didn’t chicken out. but that character, particularly the Dragon half of the equation, haunted me for a long time after. granted, it was more a psychological issue for me than a gore one, though that scene of Richard biting off Raul Esparza’s lips will stay with me for eternity!

a kiss is just a kiss

It’s ironic because as a child, I watched a lot of horror. since October is nearly upon us, my 14 year old daughter is trying to make a list of horror films that she can watch leading up to Halloween. I’ve been bombarding her with movie titles: The Omen(s), The Poltergeist(s) The Amityville Horror. I should also mention that I can’t do ghosts anymore either. I can’t even listen to Ghost Hunters. maybe my brain just reached it’s horror limit somewhere along the way and said “okay, that’s enough. we just can’t let anymore in! we’re filled to capacity.” as scared as I am to watch Apostle, I still will because I know without a doubt that Dan Stevens will deliver a performance worth watching. I’ll just need to hold my daughter’s hand while doing it.

ain’t too proud, to watch through my fingers.


Take a Guess

Redbubble is having a sale on small stickers (50% off 10), so I bought a bunch to put on my laptop. it was fun typing things into the search box and seeing what creative ideas other fans had come up with to represent some of my favorite television shows and movies. my picks are ones that make references to the program without actually naming the title.  it’s more mysterious that way, and will be enjoyable to see if family and friends pick up on the references without me having to tell them. will any of them guess all ten correctly? can you? four of them are television shows, five are movies, and one is neither…












Fandom Asks: Christian Bale

If you know me, you know I’ve had a long time crush on Christian Bale. other celebrity crushes come and go, but he’s been a constant for me. yet, I rarely blog about him; I want to change that. so what better way to give you a peek into why I admire him, than to use a Fandom Asks post to touch upon some of my favorite characters.


The first character I first fell in love with: Jim Graham from Empire of The Sun

When I first saw Empire of The Sun, I was the same age as the main character, Jamie/Jim Graham. this fact caused me to look at myself in relation to him and the situations he found himself in. when he was self absorbed or immature, I hoped I really didn’t act that way myself. when he was waiting out the separation from his parents by living in the family home alone, would I have been so calm? when he latched onto the character of Basie, would I have been as trusting or felt as loyal? and so on and so forth. I wouldn’t say I was ‘swoony’ for Jim, but I fell for him in a way that my adolescent heart didn’t understand at the time. one minute I thought he was cute and I developed an odd fascination with his fingers, but the next I thought his hair looked stupid and I hated his cocky confidence. but when he cheered for the P-51 fighter plane like a lunatic and then cried because he couldn’t remember what his parents looked like, he became mine.


The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Dan Evans from 3:10 to Yuma

A crippled, depressed rancher vs a clever, well read outlaw? seems like I would fall for the latter but I fell (so hard) for the former instead. Dan Evans is integrity personified. lesser men would have given up or sold out in his situation. he had a bum leg that he earned in the war which made it difficult to provide for a wife and two children, and he turned the other cheek so often that many mistook it for cowardice but he was a good man, a father who was trying to do what was right to show his son what being a man really meant. when he utters the line “I’ve been standing on one leg for 3 damn years, waiting for God to do me a favor. and he ain’t listening.” it breaks my heart into a hundred tiny pieces, every time.


The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Arthur Stuart from Velvet Goldmine

I’m going to be superficial here and say I didn’t like this character just because I didn’t like how he looked. I’ve never been a fan of the ‘glam’ look, plain and simple.


The character I love that everyone else hates: Thomas Berger from Swing Kids

first he was a rebel who believed in a cause, then he rejected it all to appease his father. he disappoints me, he angers me, but the circumstances of the time period and the pressure he was undoubtedly under, makes me pity him more than hate him. I wish he had been stronger, I wish he had been braver, but his fashion sense was delightful!

I’m a man without conviction…


The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Laurie from Little Women

Oh Teddy, with the floppy hair, twinkling eyes, and playful smile; you were irresistible to me! it gutted me how Jo passed you over for an older man. how could she? I mean, Look.At.You. then I grew up a bit and grudgingly realized that it would have never worked between you two in the long run. you would forever be a boy to her, and she needed more than that. I could see her point. but I still think you’re awfully cute.


The character I would totally smooch: Jack Kelly from Newsies

With his exaggerated accent, red necktie, and dreams of heading out west to find a better life; so swoony! I absolutely ADORE him singing ‘Santa Fe’. I would marry that scene if I could.


The character I’d want to be like: Dieter Dengler from Rescue Dawn

Could I survive being shot down in the jungle during war time? could I survive being hung upside down and tortured with ants? could I survive daily life in a remote P.O.W. camp? and could I eat maggots with such gusto? probably not, but I really hope I could if I needed to.


The character I’d slap: Alfred Borden from The Prestige

An arrogant showman who believes the ultimate goal in life is to perform the perfect magic trick. and let’s just say that the choices he makes in his love life are creepy and wrong. so so wrong.


A pairing that I love: Captain Blocker & Rosalee Quaid from Hostiles

What brings them together is tragic but the bond it forms between them touches me.  Rosalee has had to deal with a lifetime of hurt in a short amount of time, while the Captain has shouldered the burdens of war for far too long. he gives her the sense of safety that was brutally taken from her, and she gives him the emotional security that he’s never allowed himself to want.


Fav fanvid:


bonus: Christian’s Academy Award acceptance speech. I was already in tears when he won- it had been such a long time coming and I was so elated– but then the way he got choked up when thanking his wife, and what he said about being a father…gawd! it still gets to me.


Last pic you saved:

no hair, bleached eyebrows, hefty weight gain, but still that boy I fell for so long ago.


I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away