Dan, Sweetie, you’re killing me here! I’m trying to keep my composure with this crush on you, only hanging on by a thin thread as it is, and then you SING A COVER OF BEHIND BLUE EYES? how can I not fall deeper after that?!


Fandom Asks: Christian Bale

If you know me, you know I’ve had a long time crush on Christian Bale. other celebrity crushes come and go, but he’s been a constant for me. yet, I rarely blog about him; I want to change that. so what better way to give you a peek into why I admire him, than to use a Fandom Asks post to touch upon some of my favorite characters.


The first character I first fell in love with: Jim Graham from Empire of The Sun

When I first saw Empire of The Sun, I was the same age as the main character, Jamie/Jim Graham. this fact caused me to look at myself in relation to him and the situations he found himself in. when he was self absorbed or immature, I hoped I really didn’t act that way myself. when he was waiting out the separation from his parents by living in the family home alone, would I have been so calm? when he latched onto the character of Basie, would I have been as trusting or felt as loyal? and so on and so forth. I wouldn’t say I was ‘swoony’ for Jim, but I fell for him in a way that my adolescent heart didn’t understand at the time. one minute I thought he was cute and I developed an odd fascination with his fingers, but the next I thought his hair looked stupid and I hated his cocky confidence. but when he cheered for the P-51 fighter plane like a lunatic and then cried because he couldn’t remember what his parents looked like, he became mine.


The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Dan Evans from 3:10 to Yuma

A crippled, depressed rancher vs a clever, well read outlaw? seems like I would fall for the latter but I fell (so hard) for the former instead. Dan Evans is integrity personified. lesser men would have given up or sold out in his situation. he had a bum leg that he earned in the war which made it difficult to provide for a wife and two children, and he turned the other cheek so often that many mistook it for cowardice but he was a good man, a father who was trying to do what was right to show his son what being a man really meant. when he utters the line “I’ve been standing on one leg for 3 damn years, waiting for God to do me a favor. and he ain’t listening.” it breaks my heart into a hundred tiny pieces, every time.


The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Arthur Stuart from Velvet Goldmine

I’m going to be superficial here and say I didn’t like this character just because I didn’t like how he looked. I’ve never been a fan of the ‘glam’ look, plain and simple.


The character I love that everyone else hates: Thomas Berger from Swing Kids

first he was a rebel who believed in a cause, then he rejected it all to appease his father. he disappoints me, he angers me, but the circumstances of the time period and the pressure he was undoubtedly under, makes me pity him more than hate him. I wish he had been stronger, I wish he had been braver, but his fashion sense was delightful!

I’m a man without conviction…


The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Laurie from Little Women

Oh Teddy, with the floppy hair, twinkling eyes, and playful smile; you were irresistible to me! it gutted me how Jo passed you over for an older man. how could she? I mean, Look.At.You. then I grew up a bit and grudgingly realized that it would have never worked between you two in the long run. you would forever be a boy to her, and she needed more than that. I could see her point. but I still think you’re awfully cute.


The character I would totally smooch: Jack Kelly from Newsies

With his exaggerated accent, red necktie, and dreams of heading out west to find a better life; so swoony! I absolutely ADORE him singing ‘Santa Fe’. I would marry that scene if I could.


The character I’d want to be like: Dieter Dengler from Rescue Dawn

Could I survive being shot down in the jungle during war time? could I survive being hung upside down and tortured with ants? could I survive daily life in a remote P.O.W. camp? and could I eat maggots with such gusto? probably not, but I really hope I could if I needed to.


The character I’d slap: Alfred Borden from The Prestige

An arrogant showman who believes the ultimate goal in life is to perform the perfect magic trick. and let’s just say that the choices he makes in his love life are creepy and wrong. so so wrong.


A pairing that I love: Captain Blocker & Rosalee Quaid from Hostiles

What brings them together is tragic but the bond it forms between them touches me.  Rosalee has had to deal with a lifetime of hurt in a short amount of time, while the Captain has shouldered the burdens of war for far too long. he gives her the sense of safety that was brutally taken from her, and she gives him the emotional security that he’s never allowed himself to want.


Fav fanvid:


bonus: Christian’s Academy Award acceptance speech. I was already in tears when he won- it had been such a long time coming and I was so elated– but then the way he got choked up when thanking his wife, and what he said about being a father…gawd! it still gets to me.


Last pic you saved:

no hair, bleached eyebrows, hefty weight gain, but still that boy I fell for so long ago.


I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away



I’m back home after being in the hospital for five days. it really, REALLY sucked.

that’s an understatement.


so imagine my delight when I open social media and see that not only has Dan done another BUILD series interview, wearing Doc Marten Union Jack boots


but also that he’s gotten an earring!


and what about last week’s Legion episode? I think it’s been my favorite one yet- all the different realities.


oddly enough, Legion is what grounds me in reality week by week; I know it’s Tuesday because that’s Legion night.

me, watching Legion
me, waiting for the next episode







you make me happy when skies are grey…


it was like…magic

Dream Diary


[recent dream of Richard Armitage]

Richard and I were at an annual celebratory event in a foreign city. he just so happened to sit down across from me, at my little single table, outside on a cobblestone patio with twinkling lights draped haphazardly around. the event was festive without being intrusive to those who were walking by. at one point a group of older women came around with a tray filled with ethnic sweets, but they were more to show off and look at than to eat. I had no idea what anyone was saying but I wasn’t intimidated by that. I was there to just enjoy the atmosphere, and the added bonus of seeing Richard enjoy it too. we didn’t talk to each other much, we were strangers after all, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. it was like we were two outsiders just taking it all in together. he was someone I could enjoy being quiet with.
Towards the end of the evening it was announced with sadness that a certain woman who was always highly involved in the event had passed away. there were several gasps throughout the crowd and Richard looked visibly upset. I instinctively reached across the table and took his hand into mine for comfort. he asked if I knew the woman and although the urge to fib and say ‘yes’ was strong, I told the truth and said that I didn’t know her, though her name was familiar to me from previous years. soon after Richard left our table to search out this woman’s daughter and to talk to the family. it appeared that he wasn’t coming back and the night had died down anyway, so I rose to leave. I had gone back to my nearby lodging and prepared to check out because I had planned to travel home right after the event.
As I wandered back through the patio a few hours later, I passed Richard sitting at our table. we both made eye contact with each other at the same time and so I stopped and said goodbye. he leaned up and I leaned down and we embraced in a hug as he kissed my cheek. he didn’t know my name and I didn’t give it. the embrace felt intimate, still between two strangers but no less magical. as I walked away I had a strong sense of deja vu, like it had all happened before in that exact way and that it would happen again.