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some are assuming I’m going to leave Richard behind

16 Mar
[The ‘Yours in Armitage’ series is a collection of posts documenting my changing perceptions about my celebrity crush on Richard Armitage, using excerpts from past correspondence to help me come to terms with the uncertainties.]

 

July 29, 2015- I know some are assuming I’m going to leave Richard behind and chase Jamie Dornan instead, but I’m not going to throw myself into another obsession like that (fandom, fan-blog, etc.) I just don’t have the energy!

 

Being part of a fandom does take energy, whether you’re creating and posting or following and commenting, but the interaction can be beneficial. it can also be tiring at times, frustrating, a responsibility that I don’t always want to deal with. especially if I lose track of Richard in the process. that may sound odd, how can Richard get lost within his own fandom? it literally revolves around him! but sometimes it becomes more about fan interaction than the object of our affection. that’s not always a bad thing, many fans say that’s a plus for them, they came here for Richard but stay for the fans. it’s a heartwarming thought but it’s not true for me. I enjoy the fans, but I need Richard; he’s why I’m here.

I’ve been involved in three different fandoms in my time online as a fangirl. each experience has been unique, but not, at the same time. overall there have been more pros than cons, but there’s something they’ve all shared: ‘curiosity killed the cat’; the more I know about the crush, the higher my expectations rise. my quest to acquire insight into what makes them tick and how that influences their acting, creating a depth that continually draws me to them, can sometimes backfire into raising my expectations to unattainable levels; my pedestals are high. so with Jamie Dornan, I decided to adjust my approach. I switched from ‘all’ to ‘just enough’ instead. know just enough about him to draw me in, just enough to keep me interested, just enough to touch me in a meaningful way.

I’m not part of the Jamie Dornan fandom. I follow a few fan accounts on Twitter but no blogs, forums, or fan groups. my interaction with the fandom is zero. the Twitter accounts keep me updated on current happenings, but I mostly follow them for the random pictures and quotes that they post. this way, I never lose track of Jamie, or myself. this has carried over into my side interests as well, those ‘for the moment’ actors that I’m curious about and follow for awhile. I feel an even less need to know about their personal lives/background than I did before. a quick run down of their career and a general feel for their off screen personality is usually all it takes to satisfy me these days. I’m done with the extensive biographies, the unabridged list of interviews and appearances, the clothing portfolios. I like not knowing. I like being surprised.

I’m not joining another fandom, I like this one. I’m not trading Richard Armitage for Jamie Dornan, I can keep them both. my need for absolutes is changing. I’m giving myself permission to just like what I like. it sounds simple, but for me, it’s a big step.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

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8 Comments

Posted by on March 16, 2017 in Self

 

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8 responses to “some are assuming I’m going to leave Richard behind

  1. SueBC

    March 17, 2017 at 3:36 am

    Your posts always make me think. I’ve been very interested in other actors and singers, but I’ve never been part of a fandom before. I’ve loved a work and then researched the performer from time to time, but I’ve never immersed myself to this extent. I do really enjoy this particular fandom community, to the extent that I forget about RA for a bit. In a way, that helps to sustain my interest, because when it’s less intense the community holds my interest instead until the RA fascination is sparked by some new thing again. But I’m still not entirely sure why RA in particular demands more of my attention.

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    • KellyDS

      March 17, 2017 at 11:21 am

      sometimes I get bombarded w/too much Richard, like during promo tours w/all of the interviews, so that I end up just scrolling past him in my social media timelines: ‘ugh! I need a break from his face!’ but then I’ll go back and catch up at my own pace, and all is good: ‘aww! I missed his face!’ πŸ˜› I guess I’m the same way with the fandom aspect of things too: sometimes I lament the days when there were so many blogs to read, but then other days I’m glad I pulled back from all of that b/c the few I still follow are manageable. Richard and I definitely share the ‘moody’ trait!

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      • SueBC

        March 17, 2017 at 4:17 pm

        I see that Jamie Dornan is playing Will Scarlet in a new Robin Hood movie. Two Robin Hood versions to love?

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        • KellyDS

          March 17, 2017 at 4:26 pm

          from what I’ve read his character is married to Marian but she’s in love with Robin. that girl is just trouble, all the way around! I doubt I’ll get the satisfaction of him stabbing her in this one though πŸ˜€

          Liked by 1 person

           
          • SueBC

            March 17, 2017 at 4:29 pm

            Fickle girl… I didn’t see a mention of a Guy character.

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  2. Cill

    March 17, 2017 at 10:31 am

    I have been a member (sort of unintentionally) of several fandoms now. I rarely consciously join with the intention of creating relationships, although I suppose that once you begin to comment it’s inevitable that relationships are formed. I tend to stay in ‘follow and comment’ mode. I will say that RA’s fandom is different from some other fandoms that I have joined. (And that’s all I’ll say). However RA himself is a bit different as a fandom focus than others I’ve followed, so it’s been an interesting ride.

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    • Cill

      March 17, 2017 at 10:39 am

      I appreciate your thoughtfulness and honesty in writing about your fandom experiences, both then and now. I know it hasn’t always been easy for youand I’m so glad you stayed.

      Liked by 1 person

       
    • KellyDS

      March 17, 2017 at 11:30 am

      with the other two fandoms I didn’t set out to form relationships, but with this one I did. I feel like I’ve put down roots here and so it was really hard for me to contemplate leaving all of that behind (both the fan aspect and Richard), quite honestly it gutted me. that’s when I knew that I couldn’t just ‘move on’ like I had in the past, that I needed to examine what was going on with me. writing about it openly on this blog helped remove the things that were blocking my enjoyment. sometimes it does help to just ‘write it all down’ πŸ™‚

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