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I was disappointed

23 Jan
[The ‘Yours in Armitage’ series is a collection of posts documenting my changing perceptions about my celebrity crush on Richard Armitage, using excerpts from past correspondence to help me come to terms with the uncertainties.]
August 24, 2013-Β I didn’t like his voice in the most recent New Zealand promo video. it’s like he was trying to sound too animated, almost like a character instead of just a voice. I really like ‘just the voice’, so I was disappointed.

 

I think what bothered me about this example of Richard’s voice, was that in trying to establish a certain tone, he ended up taking away the essence of why I like his voice. the narration sounds like it should be part of a classical reading, devoid of the personality that I was used to hearing in his audio books and film portrayals. while this dissatisfaction could just be a preference issue for others, for me it pointed to something deeper.

I realize that sometimes an actor has to do things that don’t excite them in order to work their way up to the things that do, but sometimes too many “space filler” projects can turn into a whirlpool that can be difficult for them to find their way out of. at this point, The Hobbit was bringing Richard out into the light, and so my fears of what the spotlight may or may not do to the new ‘object of my affection’ were bubbling underneath. I didn’t want to lose him already, lose the satisfaction I was finding in him. the thought that he could start to disappoint me, that projects he would do might not touch me in the fulfilling ways that I had become accustomed to, was not something that I wanted to acknowledge.Β ‘all or nothing’ is a theme I still struggle with.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

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18 Comments

Posted by on January 23, 2017 in Self

 

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18 responses to “I was disappointed

  1. Guylty

    January 23, 2017 at 7:46 pm

    Wow – that was a new piece of Richard’s work for me. I totally get what you mean – it’s his professional narrator’s voice. And coupled with his slightly lowered Thorin Oakenshield voice, it doesn’t really sound like him. Also, much of the narration lacked the “smile” – another involuntary Oakenshield effect?
    Anyway, on to the *real* point of your piece – not wanting to be disappointed. I think that is actually a feeling that gets even stronger over time. I think, it would have been easier for me to deal with disappointment at the beginning – when I hadn’t invested so much time and thought yet. I might have been more forgiving, because the disappointments would’ve been part of the picture/interpretation I was forming of him as I was discovering his work and his persona. Just a piece of the puzzle, which was still being adjusted in my head. The “I can take it or leave it” approach was still available to me then. “Don’t like his latest communication – ok, I’ll dump him.” (Good thing he wasn’t on social media when I first discovered him *hehe*. He did everything right in his preserved messages, though.)
    All or nothing is definitely always there at the back of my mind, too. If a new piece of the puzzle turns up, and it doesn’t fit on my board – damn, does that mean I have to throw the whole thing out? Maybe not. Even if there are a few gaps and a few pieces that don’t match, the overall picture is still one that looks pretty attractive to me. I think I am becoming more forgiven in my dotage years…

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    • KellyDS

      January 23, 2017 at 8:47 pm

      validation! *fist pumps* I feel less guilty about doling out criticism if someone agrees with my negative feelings…

      I liked reading your thoughts about disappoint at the beginning of the crush vs when we’re already invested. I assumed I would just jump ship if I ran across things I didn’t like in the beginning, but after reading your comment I can see how I might gloss over a lot that bothers me now because I was still forming my opinion of him then; it was all just random pieces to a puzzle. why does it matter so much more to me now? hmm. and thus the purpose of these posts πŸ™‚

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      • Guylty

        January 24, 2017 at 3:19 am

        (Damn, I meant to write “I’m becoming more forgivING in my dotage”)
        It matters so much more now, because you have already invested time and thoughts in the appreciation of the man, and thus *you* are invested. Much harder to give that up, or to concede that one has “wasted” time and effort on someone who ultimately didn’t match one’s own demands/desires. Plus, of course the whole public, shared engagement in collective fangirling has created a whole subcategory of feelings that are connected to the initial interest in one actor. Hard to give that up, too?! There is a question for you: Was the community aspect, or the friendships and daily exchange with fellow Armitage fans something you started to miss when you retreated from the Armitage fandom? Was it a reason that made you come back into the fold?

        Liked by 1 person

         
        • KellyDS

          January 24, 2017 at 9:25 am

          very good (and relevant) question! yes I did miss the exchange with fellow fans & it did heavily influence why I’ve decided to share this introspective process publicly instead of just doing it privately, but at the same time I think it was ultimately the fandom community at large that made me retreat in the first place. I do much better in small groups than in large ones. when the first blog took off and we were all posting and commenting so much, I opened my circle wider and wider so that I could be aware of what was happening within the fandom. so I was witnessing conversations and arguments from afar and letting them influence me, instead of sticking to the one-on-one conversations that I could control/gain helpful information from by participating in myself. looking back through my messages I can see that I had formed a lot of negative opinions towards fan behavior in the beginning that put me on the defensive, that caused me to want to “protect” Richard, i.e. my enjoyment of him. then as time went on I ended up taking on some of those behaviors that I used to despise! most of the behaviors aren’t as dire as I first believed, more that I just didn’t understand them at the time, but there are still some that I wish I could overcome; cynicism doesn’t feel good 😦

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          • Guylty

            January 24, 2017 at 9:42 am

            Such a good point. I had completely ignored the possibility that the fandom could be part of the reason that you cooled towards our OOA…
            I get what you mean. It really is a very complex thing, this whole fangirling activity, isn’t it? On the one hand we are glad if we don’t have to do it alone, isolated and unsupported, yet the more we involve ourselves, the more we get exposed to parts and behaviours of fandom that we individually do not like or appreciate. For me, the combination of one-on-one exchanges and communication via a small circle of blogs (and Twitter users) works best. (Admittedly, my superficiality is a blessing – I happily ignore what I do not want to know…)
            Cynicism doesn’t make me happy, I agree, but sometimes it works bts to let off steam while not spoiling the public fandom experience.
            I’m glad that you missed some of the fandom. For totally selfish reasons – I’m just glad to have you back.

            Liked by 1 person

             
          • KellyDS

            January 24, 2017 at 4:55 pm

            ❀ ❀

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    • Cill

      January 24, 2017 at 3:17 pm

      This was a new piece of work to me too.
      It doesn’t sound like RA, somehow. Was that deliberate? Was that the fault of the director or something?
      I don’t know.

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      • Guylty

        January 24, 2017 at 7:07 pm

        I’d say yes, deliberate. That’s his professional narration voice. I have heard that kind of forceful, strong, really dynamic and assertive tone before when he has narrated documentaries etc. I am sure the directors wanted that. Nonetheless, I had the impression that he was not speaking with a smile on his face, and that is what put me off… But otherwise I fully understand that a job is a job.

        Liked by 1 person

         
        • Cill

          January 24, 2017 at 8:47 pm

          Truthfully, what came into my head was a scene in the comedy WKRP where different random people were telling dj Johnny Fever (the commercial’s narrator) to ‘punch up’ certain words until he offers to punch one of the meddling backseat directors. πŸ˜€

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          • Guylty

            January 25, 2017 at 2:42 am

            πŸ˜‚ I know what you mean. It sounded like that.

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  2. Servetus

    January 23, 2017 at 9:12 pm

    On the particular moment you’ve referred to here: I liked the Thorin voice and I enjoy the formalistic speech as one of many options (I think of him remembering and exploiting his school-period elocution lessons), and I loved almost every minute of the Hobbit floods (with the absolute exception of trailers that gave away too much; that annoyed me) but I also figured stuff like this was mostly part of a cash grab, i.e., milk The Hobbit for all it’s worth and invest the gains, which would make sense to me as a move given his social background, which would have been generally risk averse (it’s another thing that explains why the English theater world is so heavily influenced by upper class actors at the moment — their risk in sticking it out is much lower). I think it must be quite hard for an actor to know what decision to make at any given moment, if there are options, and an ad voiceover is money in the bank. He’d done quite a few of them before this as well.

    I’m thinking as I read these posts that my attitude toward these things has a lot to do with when I became a fan. But also with the fact that when it comes to perspective on anything, I tend to be a continuity thinker (probably from so much study of things that happened 500 years ago).

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    • KellyDS

      January 24, 2017 at 9:01 am

      what I’m seeing from going back through my old messages to find these excerpts is that I started out feeling one way, seeing the bigger picture based on my experience with following the careers of other actors, but then somewhere along the way I started feeling the opposite; things became more personal to me and affected me in ways that continue to confuse me. I know intellectually why Richard makes the choices that he does or why he might say the things that he says, but my emotional reaction to them doesn’t seem to reflect that knowledge. still trying to figure it out :/

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      • Servetus

        January 24, 2017 at 4:10 pm

        Yeah, and I admit I don’t really know how to respond to these posts (other than telling you what my reaction was). I don’t want to get in a misunderstanding with you the way I did back in the day.

        Liked by 1 person

         
        • KellyDS

          January 24, 2017 at 4:52 pm

          mostly I’m expecting the comments to be others sharing how they feel, even if it differs from me. or just sharing their general thoughts about the subject, wondering about things ‘out loud’ with me. so if you’ve had the opposite reaction to something and want to share your opinion, I welcome it for comparisons sake. I’m not really looking for advice, since the purpose of this is for me to figure out the hows and whys first before I decide how I want to approach things in the future. but as long as I’m not being chastised for feeling the way I do, then I welcome any thoughts on the matter. I’m much less prickly about these types of things than I used to be πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

           
  3. SueBC

    January 24, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    I’ve never heard this ad before. I agree that it really doesn’t sound like the voice I expect from him. His voice is already deep and I feel like he has gone to such a low register here that his voice is gravelly rather than chocolate smooth. I can’t say that it would really affect how I feel, though, although I’d rather listen to him read a Heyer novel!

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • KellyDS

      January 25, 2017 at 8:39 am

      “gravelly rather than chocolate smooth” yes, a very good description! I’m still not crazy about it but it doesn’t bother me now, I just make a face and move on

      Liked by 1 person

       
  4. prettymisstaken

    July 13, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    can’t judge a book undercover. especially if one covered it, to distort it’s contents… it’s the same book underneath, waiting to rip off the uncomfortable feel of the alienated material… still will love the damn bookcase even if the owner did create a predicament in locating the book, once having changed its look upon itself… books have wisdom within though, that can never be changed, and since the cover acts to preserve it, you can guarantee those dogged tired edges are discarded along with the cover so at least no permanent damage sustained… if anything, it’s beauty is restored better than ever, and guests will marvel at why this book is still in mint condition compared to it’s publishing date, when it’s master was only two!!!!

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    • KellyDS

      July 15, 2017 at 9:50 am

      I like the thought of your ‘book cover’ analogy. if I knew what the book was all about, I’d never bother reading it, so I don’t really want the cover to be revealing.

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