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Richard calms me

10 Jan
[The ‘Yours in Armitage’ series is a collection of posts documenting my changing perceptions about my celebrity crush on Richard Armitage, using excerpts from past correspondence to help me come to terms with the uncertainties.]

July 22, 2013- I try to keep a level head and ground myself in reality as much as I can. certain things get under my skin still and will rile me up, but I calm down a lot quicker than I used to; Richard calms me. it may be him, it may be the encouraging atmosphere of this fandom, or it may just be my experience/age. I think it’s a combination of all three, but I’ll credit Richard!

When I first started blogging about Richard Armitage in May of 2013, fangirling about him did calm me. I felt as if I’d finally found my place, on blog and in the RA fandom at large. as with the beginning stages of any celebrity crush, my world revolved around him: hunting down and watching all of his work and public appearances, familiarizing myself with his personality and background, and exploring the fandom that had built up around him. the blog gave me a place to play, while the fandom gave me a voice. I stumbled into drama at the beginning but it eventually evened out, and ‘fandom’ became an integral part of my everyday routine. It did calm me, the routine and the serene nature of the man himself. but things change, whether we give them permission to or not. 

Things changed for me in regards to Richard Armitage, and I wasn’t ready for them to; my opinions, my perceptions, my routine. I tried to hang on with an iron tight grip, which only made things harder in the end. eventually I had to stop blogging about Richard Armitage and pull back from the fandom (after many half-hearted attempts). When I finally did, I felt it was the right decision. I felt good about it, didn’t regret it (still don’t) but it left many unanswered questions for me: why did it change for me? when did it start changing? how did it change?

After I closed the blog, I focused on another celebrity crush and put Richard and everything that went with him on the shelf for awhile. I took him back off that shelf recently and am ready to try and figure out the answers to those questions; hence, this series of posts. the fan blog was about celebrating and highlighting favorites in a playful manner, these posts are going to be more introspective. It will be all about my feelings: what I felt about Richard at certain times, how I regarded him, and then the progression of how that changed. I’ll be doing this by taking past things that I have said about him in conversation, and using those excerpts as thoughts to ponder. 

I’m still a fan of Richard Armitage, I still enjoy his work and personality, but what/how I enjoy has changed. I need to pinpoint that in order to find a new routine in regards to him, a new kind of calm. it’s about to get personal; I’m both excited and nervous to see what I find.

Yours in Armitage,

Kelly

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16 Comments

Posted by on January 10, 2017 in Self

 

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16 responses to “Richard calms me

  1. Guylty

    January 10, 2017 at 4:27 pm

    This reads really interesting, Kelly. Since there are no two fangirl journeys alike, this is something completely unique. And yet I hope there’ll be some insights in this that will also enlighten your readers about their own journey in and out of fandom.
    As for this post’s theme “calm”, I am afraid RA never had that kind of effect on me. Seeing his pics gave me a little jolt, as did coming across new interviews or new work. Nowadays it’s still not calm, although possibly for the wrong reason – I often just shake my head at the antics he’s been displaying, tweet-deleting etc. But hey, at least he is not boring…
    Looking forward to your next excerpt from your fan correspondence!

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    • KellyDS

      January 10, 2017 at 4:44 pm

      calm vs jolt; you’ve got me thinking about something right out of the gate! I did get jolts concerning certain things, and still do, but overall he just made me feel that things were right with my world. unfortunately, his presence on Twitter changed all of that drastically… I do hope the things I’ll be pondering will spark interesting conversations, but if not, at least it will be a nice look back at how it all began!

      Liked by 1 person

       
  2. linda60

    January 10, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    Hi Kelly! Welcome back! Nice to see you!! (Have you been away??? 😉 ) Your plan sounds very interesting to read for me and my journey with Richie….

    Like

     
    • KellyDS

      January 10, 2017 at 7:21 pm

      I guess it’s only been 4 months since I stopped blogging about Richard, but it’s felt more like 4 years! fangirling intensifies everything

      Like

       
  3. obscura

    January 10, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    So good to see you blogging again – I really look forward to reading about your new journey!

    Like

     
    • KellyDS

      January 11, 2017 at 7:50 am

      I’ve only written one post but it does feel good to be blogging in the fandom again. glad you’ll be along for the ride!

      Liked by 1 person

       
  4. Mezz

    January 11, 2017 at 6:10 am

    Welcome back! I gave up trying to work out the whys and wherefores of my crush on RA ages ago…..it just is, so I look forward to reading your thoughts. I’m with Guylty. More jolts (and zings!) than calm for me. 😉

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    • KellyDS

      January 11, 2017 at 7:49 am

      my goal is to get to a place where my crush on Richard “just is”. hopefully this little endeavor can help bring that about!

      Like

       
  5. zeesmuse

    January 11, 2017 at 7:30 am

    Hi and Welcome back! (psssst. You were kinda outted! LOL)

    Like

     
    • KellyDS

      January 11, 2017 at 7:45 am

      I wasn’t planning on hiding, I’m just horrible at promoting myself!

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • zeesmuse

        January 11, 2017 at 8:39 am

        Join the club. I have no idea how to promote me…. shoot. My blog really isn’t even a blog. Nothing deep. Lots of pretty…

        Like

         
  6. heatherparish

    January 11, 2017 at 12:05 pm

    Welcome back and I’m really looking forward to where your introspective journey takes us all!

    Like

     
  7. Widoedm53

    January 11, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Great to see you back Kelly! I have experienced peaks and valleys with my crush too. Sometimes it helps to read another persons perspective, especially when it is presented with honesty and good humor. I look forward to see your journey continue 😊

    Liked by 1 person

     
  8. Esther

    January 11, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Every journey has its ups and downs. Welcome back.

    Like

     

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