Deep Dive


Matt Bomer by Nigel Parry 2019

Now that Matt Bomer had sparked my interest, I was eager to start the deep dive into his acting work, but what to watch first?  White Collar looked the most promising to me. I love police procedurals. I can watch them day and night, re-watch after re-watch. I find them relaxing, oddly enough. so the premise of a convicted white collar criminal trading his consulting services for fresh-aired freedom while under lock and key of an ankle bracelet, is right up my alley. add in light hearted banter, a charming master criminal, and his rat pack style of suits and fedora, and I am sold! I’m looking forward to catching up on all six seasons of this one.

I decided to savor White Collar slowly, so I moved on to a binge watch of Traveler; another crime based action show, albeit from 2007. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I really got into the suspense of it. Traveler follows the plight of 3 college roommates who carry out a juvenile prank of rollerblading through a crowded museum. the joyride goes horribly wrong when a bomb detonates directly after their antics. as the two rollerblading culprits try to regroup in the chaotic aftermath of the explosion, news reports show that their prank was caught on security cameras and they were now suspects in the bombing. a comment they recall from their missing roommate causes them to suspect him of the crime. after a frantic call to the police explaining their suspicions isn’t as receptive as they’d hoped, the two friends find themselves on the run and part of a conspiracy they had no knowledge of. I quickly became invested in the fate of both friends, although Jay (Matt Bomer) seemed to have more of a level head throughout. unfortunately the show only lasted one season and wasn’t renewed, ending on a cliffhanger.

My next sampling of Matt Bomer’s work was the period drama series The Last Tycoon, which revolves around a movie studio in the height of Hollywood glamour. it takes place in the 1930s, in the midst of the great depression and the growing shadows of Hitler’s Nazism. I really liked the setting of the story, both visually and historically; the grand opulence of Hollywood and it’s corporate players, alongside the struggling workers and displaced migrants. I grew attached to the main character, Monroe, the successful and driven brains behind fictional Brady American Studios. he exuded power and influence with a charm that got things done without making enemies. Monroe was well liked and exceedingly respected in the business, with good reason, he was very skilled at his job and also very loyal to the studio head that gave him his start.

Pat Brady (Kelsey Grammar) and his boy wonder Monroe Stahr (Matt Bomer) in The Last Tycoon

as the story unfolded and exposed the dark underbelly of business and power, I became highly invested in Monroe’s steadfast integrity, fearing a fall from the revered pedestal that so many placed him upon. so maybe it was a good thing that the series only lasted one season without renewal because the finale left him in an oppressing situation that would have either broken his spirit or caused him to make a last stand with disastrous repercussions.

I thought I should round out the television offerings with a movie, so I chose the lighthearted drama Papi Chulo, about a lonely man who befriends the Spanish speaking worker he impulsively hires to paint his wooden deck. this was a sweet movie that had me hiding behind my hands in second hand embarrassment for a good portion of the film, due to the main character’s awkward attempt to connect with someone after a romantic break-up leaves him feeling isolated. by the end of the movie I couldn’t decide who I wanted to hug more: Sean (Matt Bomer) for his vulnerable honesty and all around cuteness, or Ernesto (Alejandro Patino) for his patience and fatherly understanding.

Sean only spoke broken Spanish, and I was never certain how much English Ernesto really understood but he graciously let Sean talk his heartbreak out, while essentially getting paid for his companionship, instead of the day labor he agreed to. and when Sean’s emotions finally break free and send him spiraling, it was touching to see the respect Ernesto gave Sean’s devastation. because grief is universal.

the movie is less a story told on screen, as it is a visual depiction of emotion. there isn’t a lot of dialogue, aside from Sean talking out loud to himself through his interactions with Ernesto, but the film is beautifully shot and there are small ‘big moments’ of poignancy.


What I’ve learned about Matt’s acting style from these four roles, is that he does charismatic charm really, really well but in a way that’s not hollow or generic. his smile may be a deadly weapon but his eyes are full of sincerity and a steadfast determination that is addicting to watch. luckily, I can gobble up the goodness by binge watching large portions, instead of nibbling on weekly crumbs. one of the advantages of being late to the game and not discovering someone until years after everyone else!

Standing on the Edge

It’s been 7 months since I last posted. that’s a long time! a long time of feeling uninspired. I’ve been longing for a new fictional character to grab me. enter DC super hero series Doom Patrol (now streaming on HBO Max).

The story concerns a group of misfit characters with enhanced powers that they don’t know how to control, hiding away from the world in a big old mansion with a wheel chair bound scientist, who tries to help them move past their emotional issues in order to harness their supernatural abilities. don’t mistake this for the X-Men though, because these are very reluctant super heroes. self involved, sarcastic, and often times rude and crude (that’s mostly Cliff- humorously voiced by Brendan Fraser), they endearingly navigate crazy scenarios that they drag each other into. underneath the off-the-wall humor, is a very character driven show that explores themes of prejudice, mental health, and what it is that makes a family.

While I am enjoying all the characters and their backstories, I’m drawn to Larry the bandaged man the most. Larry Trainor is a former Air Force pilot who, while on a solo test flight outside the earth’s atmosphere, encounters an unexplained field of energy that scrambles his instruments and sends him crashing back to earth in a fiery inferno that he miraculously survives. his body is burnt beyond recognition and emits deadly levels of radiation due to the energy field that invaded, and now resides, within his body. years of torture by the government follow until he escapes to Doom Manor, where he’s given specialty bandages that enable him to live among others and a custom built room to escape to, where he can remove all his trappings without harming those around him.

Larry and the energy field/Negative Spirit

Larry is soft spoken, cynical, and heartbreakingly self loathing for the lie of a life he led before his accident, which he can never fully escape because of the other-worldly being that now shares his body. the ‘negative spirit’ tries to communicate with it’s host by bringing up memories that Larry wants to forget, making him frustrated and resentful. he needs the negative spirit to physically survive, and it’s actually this spirit who is the real super hero of the group, bursting forth from Larry’s body in times of need to save the day. I love that irony, as well as Larry’s backstory of being a closeted gay man in the 1950s, with a lover that he hides from his wife and children. before the accident took it all away.

secret rendezvous: Larry Trainor (Matt Bomer) and John Bowers (Kyle Clements)

Larry is voiced by Matt Bomer but shares the physical portrayal with another actor- one actor during flashbacks/when he’s alone in his room, and the other when he’s in bandages. although flashbacks show a very handsome Matt Bomer, it’s the combination of the two that I look forward to seeing each episode. it fascinates me how the cadence of Matt Bomer’s voice can sound so soothing, yet able to convey the broken man within, and how that works in tandem with the physical set of Matthew Zuk’s shoulders and overall body language. both flow seamlessly together as they bring to life the soul and personality of the character. I also have to give props to the costume department because I love his vibe.



First comes the fictional character, and then comes the actor. and so now I find myself on the edge of jumping into learning about someone new. I’ve done a preliminary run and Matt Bomer already checks off some important boxes for me: he’s 45 years old, married (to his publicist husband of over ten years), and is raising 3 teenage sons; so a similar stage in life as my own. he seems quiet, kind, has amazing blue eyes, and possesses a Broadway worthy singing voice. as far as his acting goes, I’ve seen him in a few bit parts but nothing of real significance, so there’s a whole list of tv series and movies waiting for me to catch up on.

and so, it begins.

It’s You I Fall Into


[Stranger Things spoilers ahead]


Stranger Things season 4: volumes 1 and 2 are out now, so I can not only rest easy that Steve Harrington is safe and relatively unharmed (minus losing a chunk of flesh from a demo bat attack, but it afforded us a prolonged view of his shirtless torso, so it all worked out) but also that all those lingering glances between him and former love Nancy Wheeler might be hinting at a rekindled romance.

reunited? Steve Harrington (Joe Keery) and Nancy Wheeler (Natalia Dyer)

Steve continued his character progression in a big way this season by actually thanking Nancy for breaking his heart when she ended their romantic relationship in season 2, because it was the ‘thump to the head’ that he needed in order to become a better person. over the course of four seasons, many more fans have come to recognize Steve’s character development and are now in his corner, which makes me happy, even though they still dismiss his season 1 self as the popular jock who isn’t worth anyone’s time.

I strongly disagree with that assessment, and this is why

And so that is how I unexpectedly found myself browsing fanvids a few days ago, to bolster the hope of Steve finally getting the girl in season 5. I was never a die hard Stancy (Steve+Nancy) shipper, I just wanted Steve to find a love interest that made him happy; it didn’t really matter to me who he found that happiness with.

I was even ok with it being Robin in season 3, because sometimes she reminds me of someone I know really well…

I then stumbled across a fanvid that so enticingly captures the dormant feelings that came to the surface between Steve & Nancy this season, that my suggested videos on YouTube now think I’m firmly on board the ship because of how often I’ve been watching it. the creator does such a good job of showing all the subtle glances from the current season, while also flashing back to past seasons to call attention to the love story that was buried beneath all the monsters and mayhem.

the song choice has really captured me, a throw back to an older style that is both haunting and wildly romantic. 

note: the song has been enhanced (reverb) for this fanvid, making it slower than the original, which is what really gives it that haunting quality (fanvids/edits often do this to get around copyrights).

I just hope that whatever it is about this that’s been pulling at me so strongly lets up soon, because I’d really like to sleep without it playing on a loop in my head.

I would never fall in love again until I found her
I said, I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into
I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her
I found you


me, past the point of no return b/c my battery is dead from playing this song so often
[song lyrics from Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez]

A Funny Thing Happened While Awaiting the Premiere


I’ve been eagerly awaiting the Star Wars based Obi-Wan Kenobi Disney+ series, not least of which because Hayden Christensen could appear as some form of Anakin Skywalker and will definitely appear as some form of Darth Vader. yet when the promo junket kicked into high gear last week, did I gobble up all the interview snippets and photo calls with Hayden & Ewan? no. I scrolled past them because they were blocking my view of former interest Robert Pattinson.

Why do I do this? I was greatly anticipating Ansel Elgort in Tokyo Vice and really enjoyed watching it these last two months, so it’s not a matter of the chase not living up to the actual catch. there wasn’t much of a press junket for Tokyo Vice though, aside from Ansel himself sharing pics of his costars on his Instagram account. I mostly ignored The Batman promos until I actually saw the movie, because I didn’t want to run across spoilers. I’ve since gobbled up my fair share of those interviews, so maybe it’s a case of too much all at once, after there being nothing for so long? 

press junkets.

The renewed interest in Rob surprised me at first but after thinking about it, it makes sense.  my offline life is very hectic right now, with my son graduating college and my daughter graduating high school. son is also getting married. I’ve been physically and emotionally stretched thin this spring/summer with ceremonies and parties and extended family visits, so falling back to something that is familiar and brings with it good memories, has been a big comfort to me.

me, secretly hoping my daughter elopes

For now, I’m just trying to stay relaxed and center myself. maybe I’ll write some reaction posts once things settle down and I’ve caught up on everything. a few snippets for now:

  • I loved The Batman, maybe even more than The Dark Knight *gasp* Rob’s fighting style and Batman voice have brought me back for multiple viewings.
  • I found Tokyo Vice really interesting, although the abundance of subtitles and accents made it hard to follow sometimes. the cast brought forth quite a few solid performances though.
  • speaking of impressive acting, after watching Oscar Isaac in Dune and Moon Knight, I think he’s someone I need to watch more of.

Until then, I’m just content revisiting Rob. his laugh and his smile and all his adidas sneakers.

Watch Him Sparkle


The Robert Pattinson-Twilight fandom was my first substantial experience with fandom and collectively fangirling about a celebrity crush. it introduced me to all of the ways that fans can be creative and bring joy to each other through the object of their shared affection. Rob himself was such a joy to me during that time because he was so un-Hollywood. he wore clothes that you know he literally picked up off the floor


and he was a PR team’s nightmare with the way that he fidgeted continually during interviews and blurted things out that were TMI or simply not true. he’d much rather be hanging out with his friends without everyone’s eyes on him, and it showed. while screaming teenage girls were known to be his fanbase, a big chunk of his fans were actually 10 to 20 years his senior. he endeared us to him with his boyish ways and the charismatic smolder that he so easily switched on for photos. many of us saw the man that was lurking under that trademark jawline, anticipating the years ahead that would bring him out. 

A little over a decade has passed since then, and while his clothes appear better cared for

he still gives his PR team stress headaches on the regular during interviews, though with a little less fidgeting now (but his hand-in-hair game is still strong) he has a new influx of teenage fans again, as well as those his age and older. he’s still un-Hollywood and he still would rather not have everyone’s eyes on him. he hasn’t lost the youthfulness that first drew us to him, but it’s rounded out now with a confidence that’s earned him a solid foothold in the industry that is both recognized and admired by many. 


Rob turns 36 years old today, and the heart of the boy that held me so captive is still beating a rhythm that continues to ensnare me.


I’m stuck on a boy
who fills me with joy


Apple Store Interview 2008- I loved anytime he would wear the beanie hat, and the way he would twist himself into a pretzel just to sit on a chair.


picture so pretty
he is so pretty to me


Black Book Magazine 2012 by Autumn de Wilde- posing in front of a wall of roller skates with his arm labeled as ‘arm’ in marker, was one of my all time favorite photos of him.


He doesn’t know how I pine


Just look in his eyes
They’re blue as the skies


Interview Magazine 2018 by Ryan McGinley- I may not be a fan of sand but I am a fan of this photoshoot. 


picture so pretty
he is so pretty to me

San Sebastian Film Festival 2018- still ensnared.

[song lyrics from Your Song by Kate Walsh]